With the arrival of your twenties you have a chance to explore new styles, the time to spend browsing outfits and the figure to pull it off – not to mention the social life to display your fashion sense.

But enter your thirties and it’s as if you enter a barren wasteland in terms of highstreet fashion. Popular shops seem a bit too edgy for you, but god forbid you have to start shopping in M & S!  Our shape has also changed and what once suited us now no longer flatters us.

We are lucky that online stores have opened up a whole host of new avenues to choose from and we are no longer all destined to wear the same.  But what do you wear in your thirties?  Most women I speak to are finding it difficult to navigate this decade. We love the latest styles but are unsure we can pull it off. And should we really be wearing something that we saw on someone a little more than half our age?

At this point in my life I am the biggest I have ever been. Diet and exercise are just not my priorities this decade (I’ll be a skinny minx in my forties just you watch!) But right now I am feeling pretty comfortable in my own skin. For once I am throwing outfits on that previously would have had me scrutinising my appearance for wobbly bits. I am enjoying my life and living in the moment and trying my best to look fantastic – work in progress, right?

If you are struggling at the moment with your body then have a little think about all those fitness fanatics and people eating the most unappetising mung bean salads every day, yes outwardly they might appear slim but do you know what? I’ve never spoken to a single person who was dieting or extremely into their fitness who wasn’t still very hung up on their bodies. They always want to be thinner, have more defined abs. They might give the illusion of being happy but I can almost guarantee that none of them are. So take a minute and just think, your thirties are almost like the waiting room to middle age. Do you want to sit about stressing about keeping the perfect figure, or do you want to just give youself a break and just have a shot at being you?

There are pages upon pages of style advice for the over 30’s. Along with rigid rules of the do’s and don’ts. But I think that a lot of them that should be ripped up.

1. That there are certain colours that shouldn’t be worn together.  I remember my nan having heartfailure when I wore navy shoes with black trousers to school. This adage that navy and black shouldn’t go together is the best rule to break in your thirties! Try pairing lacy navy dresses with a black leather jacket to make it less formal. Navy trousers also look really elegant with a black cami and black sandals. A bit of sophistication.  Bold colours also work amazingly and the whole pink and green or red and orange vetoed combos no longer hold water.  Colour blocking is a great way to showcase a bit of flair and you can experiment with different colours.

2.  That you should pack up your short skirts and wear only pencil skirts. I have thighs that a rugby prop forward would be proud of, yet I still don’t mind getting my legs out in nice skirts or shorts. I have even embraced my pale blue Scottish skin on occassion and went sans fake tan!  Of course you don’t want your bum hanging out any more but a nice thigh skimming cord skirt can look effortlessly cool. Why should you hide away in longer styles?

3. That trainers shouldn’t be worn outside the gym. Well I don’t know about you, but I have seen some cool.af Instagramers who are rocking the trainers and dresses right now! It may have been something you wore as a teenager n the 90’s but it’s making a comeback. Comfy footwear that can still make you look on trend – hello!

4.  That leather is a no no. My leather jackets are my wardrobe staples. And I even went as far as investing in a leather skirt this year. Because 5 years ago I would have been too self concious to wear something like that but now? Don’t let the ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ saying ring in your ear any longer.  Here I am posing about knowing I aint winning rear of the year but owning it anyway. The self confidence of feeling good in something translates so that people believe in it. Try it!

5.  That underwear shouldn’t be seen. Well as much as I used to subscribe to the no vpl rule I now go for comfort – and that sometimes (mostly) mean extra big pants! If someone sees my knickerline they are standing too close. Underwear as outerwear is now a thing too and a sexy strappy bra under a smart shirt or even a full on bodysuit as a top makes you feel hot.

6.  That cutesy shoes have no place on a grown woman. Now I love me a pair of Mary janes. I love quirky footwear. I don’t intend to give that up. I just wear them with more classic jeans or cropped trousers now.

And the style rules you should definitely stick to …

•  Get rid of those low rise jeans – they are not your friend.

•  Say ‘no’ to those geeky character Tshirts. They were JUST about ok in your twenties but now it just looks weird.

•  Socks and sandals. They might be rocking the Gucci runway on a 6ft model but you wearing it on the school run makes you look like a hillbilly.

•  Pyjamas should only be worn in bed. This is relevant advice to all ages.

I rekon that my style still has a way to go. I don’t feel that I have a particular trademark look and I am still searching for that key piece that will define my style. Until then I am going to enjoy having a bit more freedom to express myself and the joyeous carefree mindset of not giving a damn if my outfit is Instagrammable or age appropriate!

What rule would you rip up?  Do you feel like you have a new style in your thirties or forties?

Pam xxx